he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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