i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
