You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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