You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
