Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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