everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
