The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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