There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
