Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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