my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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