dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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