I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
