thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
