Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
