U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
