Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
