at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
