you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
The Olympian is in my bed
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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