I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
