have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
