Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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