I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
he shaved USA in his pubs
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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