Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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