Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
