Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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