Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
