Well apparently he's into motor boating.
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
May the power of my ass compel you!!
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
