Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
