The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
