I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize