apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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