OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
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