White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
