He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a blender
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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