went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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