So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
