Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
