Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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