Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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