And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
