I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
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