Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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