Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
