Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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