my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
