You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
So I just went to clothing optional bar
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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