If i come over, it means nothing
Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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