how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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