where are you?
Hypothermia
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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