You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
do herpes really smell.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I will pee on everything he values.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
