There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
