i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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