Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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