my phone needs a breathalizer
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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