Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
