Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
even my farts smell like vagina
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
