k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
