I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
