summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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