Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
