We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
