I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
